Devotional 3-19-08

Scripture Readings: Psalm 55; Psalm 74; Lamentations 2:1-9, 14-17; 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:11 and Mark 12: 1-11.

My heart is in anguish within me, the terrors of death have fallen upon me, Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me, And I say, “O that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; truly I would flee far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter for myself from the raging wind and tempest.” Psalm 55: 4-8.

Most of us consider Wednesday to be mid-week and when we make it to this point in our weekly cycle, we are close enough to a weekend to begin to anticipate our weekend plans and activities. The anticipation we feel is generally positive as we anticipate a “change of scenery” from our weekday schedules. None of the gospels tell us what Jesus and the disciples did on the Wednesday of Holy Week. We rejoin the events of the week on Thursday when we learn of the last supper, the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus’ arrest, etc.

As I pondered this devotional I was overwhelmed by the human emotions that are associated with anticipation, particularly with the anxiety associated with a potentially negative or harmful event. When faced with a major problem or dilemma, there is a certain amount of dread and frustration. As humans, we handle these emotions in a variety of ways: we talk, we eat, we get “sick”, we get mad, we whine and complain, and on and on…

We can only imagine, then, what must have been churning through Jesus’ mind as he anticipated the next days. We have a glimpse of his emotions as he prayed in the Garden: “remove this cup from me; yet, not my will, but yours, Father.” The emotions expressed by Jesus are very real to us and very human. Jesus also expressed a deep sorrowful loneliness in the prayers of the Garden. The angst and loneliness of Jesus in the words of his prayers are almost palpable. Yet, He was resigned to follow through with the plan. I can’t really imagine what it would be like to know enough about the future to know that my death would be as painful and humiliatingly public as Jesus’ death was to be. I believe that there is only one source for the strength Jesus received to complete the responsibilities of “the Plan”.

Too often I try to skip over the hard things in life: To live on the surface and not feel things deeply, because the fear, loneliness and hurt seem unbearable—even the anticipation is sometimes overwhelming. Jesus walked toward the last hours of his life surrounded by multitudes, but seemingly alone. God was totally with him, but did not intervene in the horrific events and few felt the presence of God in the unfolding saga. Jesus showed us through this lonely walk, that we each face the future as individuals with the benefit of Jesus as our guide and protector. We have a new covenant and can experience an individual relationship with God because of Jesus’ sacrifice. We do have to walk the journey of our life, but: We are never alone—God is always with us!

Jesus walked this lonesome valley,
He had to walk it by Himself.
O, nobody else could walk it for Him.
He had to walk it by Himself.
We must walk the lonesome valley
We must walk it by ourselves
O, nobody else can walk it for us
We have to walk it by ourselves.
Anonymous-American Spiritual

Dear God, We come to you in gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice of your son. We know that the Jesus walked this path for each of us. There are really no words to express the magnitude of this gift of grace given for all of mankind. Help us to individually accept the gift by opening our hearts to your love, forgiveness and steadfastness. Help us to live more like Jesus each day. Deliver us, dear Father, from our fears and anxieties so that we can fully experience our life’s walk with you. Amen.

Chyrl Budd